I had to wake up. I had to leave Over There so I can be Here. Back here, with my head buzzing with voices and people from Over There. I sit for a moment, dizzy with what had just happened. Searching, feeling for, in this cold and lighted world, for my North Star and the little confidence left to guide me home.
I was back where I started: I had to build piece by piece my staircase up to God. I had stopped asking for help from right and left because people kept stealing my tools and I didn’t know who it was because they all smiled at me with their milky white smile and their wine red tongue.
I happen to hang out with those who hate me because their honesty is quick to kill that little vermin of laziness that’s rampant up and down under my skin.They put a cord around my neck and they gently pull until all my 250 lbs (246 lbs on a good day) is supported by my toes and once I’m there, they give me back my tools and ask me to finish what I started, but to hurry up because that oxygen wasn’t going to last forever. The worst part of it all is that I was losing my sight now that everything was on the line.
But then again, you see, my life and the life of mine has always been on the line, funny thing is we have never realized how short that line was.
I finally was going to meet God and put on a face on that name. All I had to do is wait a little while. Wait for the oxygen to run out, for my fear to gas away and my soul to sing its way out. And to think angels and demons envy us for having bodies. But they decided to let me down just when I started to make out His features.
So I am back to where I started: Building a staircase to go meet God. one piece at a time.