Boring? monologue

I am sure I must have missed something. There was supposed to be a change, a transformation, a metamorphosis. I was supposed to look into the mirror and see a different person. with a different face, a bigger bank account, a better job, a better car, and everything I have been dreaming of. But all I got was new promises? Are you freaking serious? Do you know what  I have done with promises last year?

But I love beginnings: your heart is flustered with all sorts of happy chemicals and you are to believe in the impossible. even if that impossible is you actually changing. No, I’m not one of those incurable alcoholic who has found paradise and hell in the bottom of a bottle and can’t seem to dissociate them from the bottle. It feels so good, but then it feels so wrong. And the cycle goes on.

The truth is people do change, but I think it happens in microseconds and then may or may not build up to an entire makeover. You know when in the moment of saying or doing something and you have to make the decision to go the usual path or to try something new ( Ugh here’s that word again!). Here’s an example: “How are you this morning?”  you could say: “I’m doing good” or you could finally find the courage to say: “I have always been doing fine until I hear you ask me how am I doing this morning” Yes, there will be some drama that will follow, but bitter truths are better than sweet lies.

Well, this is for me as well as for you. I need to be reminded that it’s not you, but it’s you. There are always consequences, cause and effect is a law that no one escapes and I’m starting to annoy myself because I sound like a cheap Self Help book, but I’m surprised that everyone doesn’t write one for him/herself. You are always the first one to know what’s wrong with you even when you don’t admit it to yourself.

OK, I’m done with my sermon for the day, writers are indeed failed preachers. Happy New Year!!!


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