Have a pleasant evening

Sometimes I have voices in my head. Voices of characters that are built from the amalgam of the thousands of TV shows, movies and books and my life so here is a sample of the result of letting them speak:

“May I talk to John, please? I’m his mother”
“Hey mom”
“Now John, I taught you better than that”
“Good evening mother. How lovely of you to call at this fine moment, I was anxious to hear your voice today”
“Oh please John, you ought not to show such excess of feelings. Its unbecoming of a man like you”
“Which is it mom? Am I a man or a boy? Because you always trying to tell me how to talk?”
“Don’t be melodramatic, son. I just wish for you to talk like I taught you and leave for others that plain and lazy talk”
“Plain and lazy, got it. How may I be of service tonight?”
“Well I just received this erroneous notice telling me that I have spent $2,000 at Game Crazy. Now we both know that it’s only by luck that I ever know how to turn on my computer, so why on earth would I go on a frenzy shopping at that Game whatever you call it?”
“Hmmm, well, I think…Hold on”
“Oh please take your time. I have nowhere to go this evening.”
Few minutes later.
“I can explain, but I think it’s better if you talk to your favorite son”
“Hey mom”
“Good evening darling, why is it that your brother thinks you would know something about these expenses?”
“You know him better than I do, he’s trying this surprise I have for you”
“Oh a surprise? Don’t divulge anymore, pass me your brother, would you please?”
“Hey, so did he tell you what he did?”
“Now John, I know you don’t always get along with your brother, but your attempt to ruin his surprise is unlike you.”
“But mom…”
“No I do not want to hear it. Have a pleasant evening and one last thing: I really like that girlfriend of yours, what’s her name again? Carol, yes that’s right, pass along my greetings to her. ok, bye bye now.”

“Hey Carol !”

“Yes, John?”

“We are done, I’m breaking up with you. As of right now I’m done with this relationship. It’s not me, it’s you.”


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