My way back inside

I refuse to be that dog, wagging my tail , panting for someone to never come

I used to love like a fool

And live for you like a fool

I took my wants, needs, desires in every gift I handed you

I did it all except bleed for you

I couldn’t bleed for myself

Even when I had the opportunity

much less for someone who couldn’t tremble when my tongue brushed his neck

Or a man who didn’t smack his lips or rub his belly with delight

When I had put my soul in Soul Food

All I needed was for his heart to crack open

and drip out some of that male tenderness

That he hides under that booming voice of his

But like sunlight piercing through a blotted out window

You will catch him letting a smile hang  by the corners of his lips

Its true I keep getting lost on my way to find myself

I would make a map, designate the rest areas, pack refreshments

And simply gaze at the open road

while wondering if I could stretch myself for this long

And let the world take a bite out of me

When I can’t seem to have

Anything of me anymore

every morning, I’m surprised to find every part of me is still there

Nothing got lost on the highways of dreams

No one could trace on my body the ups and downs of my journey

All you could do is trust my word on this.

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6 thoughts on “My way back inside

    • yes your wholeness can’t be robbed despite the appearances and the fog that rises and seems ready to swallow one and yet you come out with more than what you started with…

  1. “Its true I keep getting lost on my way to find myself

    I would make a map, designate the rest areas, pack refreshments

    And simply gaze at the open road

    while wondering if I could stretch myself for this long

    And let the world take a bite out of me”

    What really stands out for me about these lines is how the speaker is simultaneously himself and the world. He is traveling on himself, trying to find himself and then lays out it all directions like the Earth itself. One moment he is self-contained and internal (or so it feels) and the next moment is the very Earth around him. You execute that shift flawlessly. For me, that is the most thought-provoking and stunning part of the poem.

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